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English Writing Exercise (All Levels)

Course 202, Unit 9, Lesson 4

Going Shopping

Instructions: Describe the last time you went shopping. What did you buy? How much did it cost?

chrisa's submission: Average Rating:
It was the Chinese valentine's day the other day. It was used to call "Qixi's day" by Chinese. My husband and I went to the shopping mall nearby first. He bought a beautiful dress for me. It costed ￥550. It almost took my husband a week's salary! Although it was a little expensive for us. I was still very happy. Passing a flower shop, he bought a bouquet of flowers given to me as a Qixi's Day gift. Then we went to the candy store and bought a box of heart-shaped chocolate. Finally, we went to a restaurant to celebrate our Valentine's Day. What a happy day!
Submitted over a year ago

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Reviews

  • bob
    Mochapoints: 790  |  Teacher Score: 533 (0%)
    hen hao! It used to be called... It cost ... It almost cost my husband... Although it was a little expensive for us[,] I was... ... a box of heart-shaped chocolates. [rest is perfect!]
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • chrisa
    Mochapoints: 1943  |  Teacher Score: 642 (0%)
    Thank bob very much for your help.
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Orlando
    Mochapoints: 3939  |  Teacher Score: 694 (100%)
    Chrisa, Bob already mentioned things, he made good observations. One suggestion: the phrase "it almost took my husband a week's salary" try rephrasing it. Something like: "It almost cost my husband a week's worth of his salary." Sounds like you had a great day. Happy Qíngrénjié!
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • chrisa
    Mochapoints: 1943  |  Teacher Score: 642 (0%)
    Thank you very much, Orlando. This sentence that you and bob all have talked about have made me a little headache. Now, I understand. Thank you very much.
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Professor
    Mochapoints: 94674  |  Teacher Score: 89441 (100%)
    Great job, Chrisa! Here is your writing with some of Bob's changes and some of my own: Yesterday was the Chinese Valentine's day. The Chinese used to call it "Qixi's Day". First, my husband and I went to the nearby shopping mall. He bought a beautiful dress for me. It cost ￥550, almost a week's salary for my husband! Although it was a little expensive for us, I was still very happy. Passing a flower shop, he bought a bouquet of flowers which he gave me as a Qixi's Day gift. Then we went to the candy store and bought a box of heart-shaped chocolates. Finally, we went to a restaurant to celebrate our Valentine's Day. What a happy day!
    Submitted over a year ago
    Translate
  • chrisa
    Mochapoints: 1943  |  Teacher Score: 642 (0%)
    Thank Steve very much! This is for all of us work. Thanks for all my friends.
    Submitted over a year ago
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