A Trip to a Music Festival
Write a note to a friend about a visit to another country. Say where and when you want to go. Use the model.
Writing Model
Hi Andy,
Would you like to go to Senegal in August? I want to go to WorldMusic 2. It sounds fantastic! The festival is from August 20-29. I'll send you more information.
Ray
Last winter, musical Cats was performed in Chengdu. The group of Cats was from London. Cats is a famous musical and well known all over the world. I was fortunate to had a chance to enjoy it. All players perpormed wonderful.
The music and songs of Cats gave me deep impression. One of the songs named Memory. I like it very much. Memory is also well known around the world, it is even the most outstanding one of many musical's songs. So many excellent singers have sung Memory in different ways. The melody of Memory is sentimental sick at heart but quite beautiful and exciting. Some of my students have tried to sing Memory but they felt it was difficult to express exactly, because the mood of that female cat who was singing Memory was very complicated. I told my students if you could watch Cats then you might sing Memory well. And remeber that old female cat was so beautiful and haughty when she was young. But now she is very old, poor, dirty and lives alone and . So she needs love and warmth.
Submitted over a year ago
Active English Writing Exercise 
Last winter, The musical "Cats" was performed in Chengdu. The cast of Cats was from London. Cats is a famous musical and well known all over the world. I was fortunate to have had a chance to enjoy it. All the players performed wonderfully. The music and songs of Cats made a deep impression on me. One of the songs is named Memory. I like it very much. Memory is also well known around the world, it is even the most outstanding one of many musicals' songs. So many excellent singers have sung Memory in different ways. The melody of Memory is sentimentally sad at heart but also quite beautiful and exciting. Some of my students have tried to sing Memory, but they felt it was difficult to express the feelings exactly. This was because the mood of the female cat who was singing Memory was very complicated. I told my students that if you could watch Cats then you might sing Memory well. Remember also that the old female cat was so beautiful and haughty when she was young, but now she is very old, poor, dirty and lives alone, and so she needs love and warmth.
Hello Faylynn. This was a great pleasure to go over your work. You have such an excellent grasp of English. Well done!
You write English with great expression. Great! Arvonius has made the corrections. Music reaches deep into a person, it's our universal language.
Last winter, the musical Cats.... (1) Cats is a famous musical and is well known.... (2) I was fortunate to have had a chance.... (3) All players performed wonderfully.
The music and songs... impressed me deeply . (4) One of the songs was named Memory. I liked it very much. (5) It is the most outstanding song out of all the musical's many songs. (6) The melody...is sentimental sick(?) at heart but.... (7) Some... but they felt it was too difficult to express.... (8) I tell my students (9) if they could watch Cats then they might be able to sing Memory well. And remember that....
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1. Conjunction and must join equal parts. Musical (noun) and well-known (adjective) are not equal but "is a musical" (verb phrase) and "is well known" (verb phrase) are equal parts, so "is" must be repeated to make them equal parts.
2. This is how we would say it (to have had) but I couldn't explain why. I had to research this rule. "To have had" is called a "perfect infinitive". In "fortunate to have had a chance", it indicates that the "have a chance" action occurred in the past earlier than the "was fortunate" action occurred in the past. First I had a chance; second (after having the chance), then I was fortunate that I had that chance (earlier). So it was fortunate to have had that chance. [This even gives me a headache.]
3. "wonderful" is an adjective and can only modify nouns. "wonderfully" is an adverb and can modify verbs (performed).
4. Active voice = I named the song. (past)
Passive voice = the song "was named". (past)
5. "the most outstanding" = one song. Of all the songs, this one was the most outstanding.
6. "sentimental at heart" is okay. Sick??
7. If they were unsuccessful, then it was too difficult.
8. I tell my students (tell = simple present = your habit or routine = repeated action)
9. Indirect = they (you are telling me about them); direct = you (you are telling them)
Very good writing, Faylynn. Very complex sentence structures.
Excellent Faylynn!!! I agree with Arvonius. Keep it up!