Your last vacation
Instructions:
Describe your last vacation. Where did you most recently visit on holiday? What activities and attractions can you recommend to other travelers?
English Writing Exercise (All Levels)
Course 202, Unit 9, Lesson 5
 Lolochka's submission: | Average Rating: |
I spent my last vacations in Israel. It was a volunteering project. Young peoples from different countries joined their energy, creativity and labor for making our world better. Videlicet, I thought this way before the moment, when the organizers asked us about our purposes and motivations. I said, that I wanted to clean my carma and I was interesting in Israel (my dad always says, that I'm a Jew). But other answers were: "I want to have more friends in facebook", "I didn't know how to spent my summer vacations", "I wanted a cheap trip", "My parents brought me to join this project" etc. The essence of our mission was to look after animals in the national recerve in Hai-Bar. It's a piece of desert in the southern part of Israel with osrtiches, which live in the wild conditions, and wolves, owls, leopards, hedhehogs, scorpions in the caves. There were more animals, but I don't know their names even in Russian. We feeded them and cleaned their places (cut meat, clean shit - it was our gold formula of success)...
Submitted over a year ago
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I spent my last vacation in Israel. It was a volunteering project. Young people from different countries joined their energy, creativity and labor to make our world better. At least that's what I thought before the moment, when the organizers asked us about our purposes and motivations. I said that I wanted to clean my karma and I was interested in Israel (my dad always says that I'm a Jew). But other answers were: "I want to have more friends on Facebook", "I didn't know how to spend my summer vacation", "I wanted a cheap trip", "My parents brought me to join this project" etc. The essence of our mission was to look after animals in the national reserve in Hai-Bar. It's a piece of desert in the southern part of Israel with ostriches, which live in the wild conditions, and wolves, owls, leopards, hedgehogs, and scorpions in the caves. There were more animals, but I don't know their names even in Russian. We fed them and cleaned up after them (cut meat, clean shit - it was our gold formula of success)...
Don't put a comma between "said" and "that": I said that he should come.
Peoples=народы; people = люди.
Videlicet is a Latin phrase that nobody in English would recognize (I had to look it up). It's not correct here. Sometimes we do use the abbreviation viz., which means in very formal writing for example.
This is good except for few minor issues eg. 'fed' not' feeded' 'people' and not' peoples' 'volunteer' and not volunteering etc