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English Writing Exercise (All Levels)

Course 201, Unit 8, Lesson 3

Describe your day

Instructions: Using the vocabulary words from the lessons, describe your trip to work or school. How long does it take to get there? How far do you have to go? How much does it cost?

velvet's submission: Average Rating:
My family that contains six members and lives in town is a big family at present in China. As Chinese law, one couple mustn't have more than one child unless they are living in village who can have two children. It is made to control the high rate of population increase. However, my parents have two babies, my big brother and me, which was allowed in the transient period when the law was just made. And my grandma and grandpa are still alive and living with us. It is not common in most of young families in China. In the contemporary China, most young couples wouldn't like to live with them, for they have the generation gap between them and their life will be less free because of different life style and values. So our family is more traditional. Though we always argue a little with each other for a small thing because of our different ways to look at it, we enjoy quite more pleasures than arguement. This is my families.It is big, full of arguing and full of pleasures. But they all make my family perfect.
Submitted over a year ago

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  • LauraRae
    Mochapoints: 600  |  Teacher Score: 221 (0%)
    My family has six members. We live in town. Our family is a big family in China. As Chinese law, one couple mustn't have more than one child unless they are living in a village. Those who live in a village can have two children. It is made to control the high rate of population increase. However, my parents have two babies, my big brother and me, which was allowed in the transient period when the law was just made. And my grandma and grandpa are still alive and living with us. It is not common in most of young families in China. In contemporary China, most young couples wouldn't like to live with their parents, for they have the generation gap between them and their life will be less free because of different lifestyles and values. Our family is more traditional. Though we always argue a little with each other over small things because of our different ways to look at it, we enjoy more pleasant times than arguments. This is my family. It is big, full of arguing and full of love. They all make my family perfect. Very good! Be careful to not start sentences with "But," "And," or "So."
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • jem
    Mochapoints: 2420  |  Teacher Score: 725 (0%)
    My family has six members, we live in a town in China. As Chinese law, one couple mustn't have more than one child unless they are living in a village. Those who live in a village can have two children. It is made to control the high rate of population increase. However, my parents have two babies, my big brother and me, which was allowed in the transient period when the law was just made. And my grandma and grandpa are still alive and living with us. This is not common in most of young families in China. In contemporary China, most young couples wouldn't like to live with their parents, for they have the generation gap between them and their life will be less free because of different lifestyles and values. Our family is more traditional. Though we always argue a little with each other over small things because of our different ways to look at it, we enjoy more pleasant times than arguments. This is my family. It is big, full of arguing and full of pleasure, but they all make my family perfect. Your family sound very nice. Very good english, well done!
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Donald
    Mochapoints: 10546  |  Teacher Score: 5412 (98%)
    Another possibility: I (We) have six people in my (our) family, which is a big family at present in China. We live in (a) town. According to Chinese law, a couple may not have more than one child unless they live in a village, then (in which case) they may have two children. This law was made (created) to control the high rate of population increase. However, my parents had two babies, my big brother and me, which was (this is tricky: "having two babies was” or, “two babies were”) allowed during the transition period after the law was just made. My grandma and grandpa are still alive and living (live) with us. This is not common in (for) young families in China. In contemporary China, most young couples wouldn't (don’t) like to live with their parents because of the generation gap (“between them” is understood, so can be omitted). Their life (lives) will be less free because of the different life styles and values. So our family is more traditional. Though we always argue a little with each other over small things because of our different ways to look (of looking) at it, we have (“enjoy” only relates to “pleasures, this verb must relate to both pleasures and to arguments) more pleasures than arguments. This is my family. It is big, full of arguing and full of pleasure. But they all make (this makes) my family perfect. This is good! Most of the corrections that I suggest are advanced. The are for agreement of two or more nouns to one verb, or for idiomatic expressions. This paragraph flows well in English. Impressive :-)
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Dawn
    Mochapoints: 6647  |  Teacher Score: 1685 (100%)
    Velvet, I don't think I can add anything to what was said before. Donald gives very good suggestions to make your writing better but, as he says, they are advanced methods. Your writing is very good for the level you are at. Thank you for sharing your family with us.
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • kromm
    Mochapoints: 38634  |  Teacher Score: 34039 (100%)
    Your English writing is very good, you are able to express yourself well. The suggested changes by others are very good. Excellent descriptive exercise.
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  • mbkent
    Mochapoints: 14975  |  Teacher Score: 11346 (0%)
    Velvet - once again, you have written a thoughtful exercise that illustrates your high level of English skills, as well as offering wonderful insight to your life in China. I don't have anything new to suggest that wasn't already commented by others. Keep up the great work! It sounds like you live a wonderful life that is not too much different from the traditional family life and structure in my (America) country, and most other countries too. Family life is changing all over the world!
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Esdaile
    Mochapoints: 12971  |  Teacher Score: 9783 (0%)
    Well written velvet. Pay attention to the transcript by LauraRae.
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • French_Taoist
    Mochapoints: 2631  |  Teacher Score: 1991 (98%)
    你好 Velvet, Well written, thoughtful, and interesting essay. You're lucky to have such a close family! Very nice going! 很好，继续努力！加油！
    Submitted over a year ago
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