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English Writing Exercise (All Levels)

Course 202, Unit 10, Lesson 3

My occupation

Instructions: Using the vocabulary from this lesson, please describe your occupation. What do you do? Do you like what you do? How long have you been working in this field? Did you always want to be in this occupation?

djamalus's submission: Average Rating:
Carnival is a popular holiday in my country, on february. It is a great moment of joy and letting off steam. People play music, jump around and danse in the streets for about 5 days.

It is a beautiful moment of art as well. Indeed, there are a lot of bands which participate in different kind of contests. Like the best music, the best costumes and more.

There is a king of the carnival who is Vaval. As a sacrifice for washing away our sins, he is burnt the very last day of the carnival. It is not a mistake, I say that he is burt. Perhaps, it is kind of awful, but it is our custom.

By the way, I forgot to tell that, Vaval is just a puppet !!!! ;-)
Submitted over a year ago

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  • sara
    Mochapoints: 8341  |  Teacher Score: 4915 (0%)
    "Carnival is a popular holiday in February IN my country." Incorporating "in February in the middle of the sentence is more natural. Misspelling: dance "different kindS" - as you are talking about several, the word "kinds" should be plural "Indeed, there are a lot of bands which participate in different kindS of contests like the Best Music, the Best Costumes and more. These two sentences should be just one as "Like the best music, the best costumes and more" is not a complete sentence as it has no verb. "I mean that he is burned (or burnt) "I forgot to say that Vaval is just a puppet"
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Owen
    Mochapoints: 280  |  Teacher Score: 162 (0%)
    I HAVE COPIED YOUR PARAGRAPH AND MADE CORRECTIONS IN CAPITAL LETTERS. Carnival is a popular holiday in my country, on february. CARNIVAL WHICH TAKES PLACE IN FEBRUARY IS A POPULAR HOLIDAY IN MY COUNTRY. It is a great moment of joy [FOR JOY] and letting off steam. People play music, jump around and danse [DANCE] in the streets for about 5 days. It is a beautiful moment of art [FOR ART AND CULTURE]as well. Indeed, there are a lot of bands which participate in different kind of contests [PARTICIPATE IN CONTESTS FOR THE BEST MUSIC, ETC.]. Like the best music, the best costumes and more. There is a king of the carnival who is Vaval. [VAVAL IS THE KING OF CARNIVAL] As a sacrifice for washing away our sins, he is burnt the very last day of the carnival. It is not a mistake [WHEN] I say that he is burt [BURNT]. Perhaps, it is kind of awful, but it is our custom. By the way, I forgot to tell [YOU THAT VAVAL] that, Vaval is just a puppet !!!! ;-)
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  • savi
    Mochapoints: 3573  |  Teacher Score: 2410 (0%)
    Hi Djamalus. Well written! I think Sara and Owen have made all the necessary corrections. It seems to be a very enjoyable festival. Great humour.
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • trevva29
    Mochapoints: 17579  |  Teacher Score: 14286
    Hello Djamalus, As usual, there is humor and charm in your narrative. A very good job, indeed. Carnival, which takes place in February, is a popular holiday in my country. It is a joyful time and a time for letting off steam. People ..... and dance in the streets ..... . Indeed, there are ..... different kinds of contests, like the best music, the best costumes and more. ..... By the way, I forgot to tell you that Vaval is just a puppet!!!!
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  • djamalus
    Mochapoints: 1857  |  Teacher Score: 958 (100%)
    Thanks a million for your comments
    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Katie
    Mochapoints: 2725  |  Teacher Score: 339 (0%)
    Carnival is a popular holiday in my country, it takes place in February. It is a joyful time and great for letting off steam. People play music, jump around and dance in the streets for about five days. It is very artistic as well. A lot of bands participate in different kinds of contests, for example for the best music and the best costumes. Therre is a king of the carnival who is called Vaval. As a sacrifice for washing away our sins, he is burnt the very last day of the carnival. I am not joking, he is burnt. Perhaps it is kind of awful, but it is our custom. By the way I forgot to say that, Vaval is just a puppet!! I have changed a bit of your story just to give you some different ways of saying it, as other people have already done a great job on your grammar. Bye Katie
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  • BarbaraPeri
    Mochapoints: 3020  |  Teacher Score: 341
    GOOD! I am glad he is just a puppet!!!! Bon courage. Good luck!
    Submitted over a year ago
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