英語 ライティング Exercise

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• 2009-03-09 07:13:57

  Roopali Varshne...
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  I'm from Tianjin, China. Tianjin is a beautiful and rich city. It is the nearest city from Beijing, and take about less 30 minutes to Beijing by train. It's one of three largest cities in China. Fortunately, Tianjin is one of the assistance city of the 2008 Olympics. The government built a new Gymnasium,  named it Drip for its shape. Drip Gymnasium is very splendid and modern. It has been used for football matches during the Olympic Games. Now it has been used for major sporting events in Tianjin. There is a long river running through the entire city from west to east in Tianjin. Finally it flows to Bohai Bay. We called it Haihe River. She is our mother river. She is very beautiful and fascinating. If you have the opportunity to visit Tianjin, You can go down the Haihe river in a dragon boat to view the entire city scenery. I love my hometown Tianjin very much.

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• 2009-03-09 07:28:41

  Manya
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  Not bad mate..... remember: when you use the words 'more' or 'less', they are always followed by 'than' when making a comparison. So the sentence should have been: It takes less than 30 minutes.... and so on. Good luck!

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• 2009-03-09 07:31:48

  chrisa
  

  Thank you very much for all my teachers.

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• 2009-03-09 11:27:36

  dmcgimpsey
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  Wow, great submission. Your English is almost perfect. I will be visiting Beijing in a few weeks, so maybe I will go to Tianjin - it sounds beautiful.

   

   Here are some suggestions:

   

  I'm from Tianjin, China. Tianjin is a beautiful and rich city. It is the nearest city from to Beijing, and takes about less than 30 minutes to Beijing by train. It's one of three largest cities in China. Fortunately, Tianjin is was one of the assistance city of the 2008 Olympics. The government built a new Gymnasium, and be named it Drip for its shape. Drip Gymnasium is very splendid and modern. It has been used for football matches during the Olympic Games. Now it has been is used for major sporting events in Tianjin. There is a long river running through the entire city from west to east in Tianjin. Finally, it flows to Bohai Bay. We called it Haihe River. She is our mother river. She is very beautiful and fascinating. If you have the opportunity to visit Tianjin, you can go down the Haihe river in a dragon boat to view the entire city scenery. I love my hometown Tianjin very much.

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• 2009-03-09 15:32:46

  Orlando
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  Excellent try Chrisa, looks like you are talking more and more, it's good to see.

  OK, one little suggestion:  "She is our mother river."  This is probably a translation of a Chinese phrase that sounds good in Chinese, but hard to understand in English.  My guess is that you meat to say something like:

  It is our main river.

  It's the major river of the area.

  Notice that we use "it" to talk of rivers, instead of "she"

   

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• 2009-03-10 08:21:07

  chrisa
  

  Thank you very much, dmcgimpsey, Orlando. Thank you for your detailedly explaining.

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