English Writing Exercise
Course 201, Unit 8, Lesson 1
lyrach's submission:
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I would be very thankful if you could check this! However it has little relation to a self introduction.
Even though to what extent still is an open question, one surely can affirm that Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy whereby the most evident tragic element is the fact that two mostly innocent lovers, the tragic protagonists Romeo and Juliet, die due to an external tragic flaw.
According to certain established tragedy components, Shakespeare chose main characters which belong to the upper classes and dignified family dynasties (Montague and Capulet) and hence hold a high rank in society.
Furthermore, none of them, morally speaken, is neither totally bad nor extremly good since they are not flawless and do as well have vices. Romeo is capricious, unstable, gets emotionally deeply involved into affairs, kills two persons and consequently does not shrink from applying force. Juliet is dishonest to her closest relatives.
Another factor in favour of a rightful use of the term tragedy is the fact that the course
Even though to what extent still is an open question, one surely can affirm that Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy whereby the most evident tragic element is the fact that two mostly innocent lovers, the tragic protagonists Romeo and Juliet, die due to an external tragic flaw.
According to certain established tragedy components, Shakespeare chose main characters which belong to the upper classes and dignified family dynasties (Montague and Capulet) and hence hold a high rank in society.
Furthermore, none of them, morally speaken, is neither totally bad nor extremly good since they are not flawless and do as well have vices. Romeo is capricious, unstable, gets emotionally deeply involved into affairs, kills two persons and consequently does not shrink from applying force. Juliet is dishonest to her closest relatives.
Another factor in favour of a rightful use of the term tragedy is the fact that the course
Submitted over a year ago
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of things goes from relative happiness to misery and death as it was typically in the ancient Greek drama. Moreover, a tragic flaw plays a part in Romeo and Juliet: Friar Laurence's letter does not reach Romeo in time which results into the dreadful, well known outcome. The main conflicts - such as the needlessness and idiocy of unfounded (family) feuds centered around pride or the call for letting love of every kind be accepted - are centered on human suffering and dilemmas and can eventually end in a Catharis on the part of the audience.
The tone is held dignified, even though seriousness is mixed with comic relief (mainly in the form of sexual allusions), which is in accordance with the typical tragedy drama form in the Middle Age.
In general, the conventional play structure is followed.
Besides, Shakespeare's usual drama pattern is only kept losely.. the initial situation is a relative order as two families are in a feud, but the situation does not escalate. Then, crime (Mercutio gets killed..accidently) leads to the outbreak of chaos and to a crisis. However, at the end, order is more or less restored since Romeo and Juliet die.
Concluding, in the big picture, to me, Romeo and Juliet seems to be an example of a tragedy. Nevertheless, one might be irritated by the fact that – in this case – not only evil and crime let to confusion and chaos, but love was the actual trigger for several dreadful events. Still, in my opinion, it really is the act of murdering Mercutio that leads to the change in the atmosphere and that marks the turn from a predominantly happy play into a disaster.
The really truth is that not all the people have the time and dedication to read a large text :P please ill recomend u do the excercises, so if u want that someone else review ur excecises, send them all on a mail or somethin, well this is my opinion take it or not ;)
I love tragedy, is more mmm real, is like the dilemma to find the "endless love" that really exist?
Regards!
though to what extent still is an open question, one surely can affirm...
Classic run on sentence. Break them up using period, instead of comma. Alternatively, you can use an approprate conjunctive connector to link the 2 independent clauses.
morally speakingen, none both/all of them is are neither totally bad nor
Using none with neither/nor is double negative and is contradictory!
only kept loosely...
lose = no longer in possession, loose = not tight
Must use 3 dots, not 2 for an ellipses. You consistently made that mistake throughout the piece, so I presume it wasn't just a careless mistake.
Concluding... It'd sound more natural if you say: In conclusion...
Well organized. Your points and logic are well presented. 4.5 stars on each of the 3 categories.
SUPPLEMENTARY COMMENTS:
"...morally speaken"?? I think you let a bit of Deutsch Rechtschreibung slip in here. :) Incidentally, there's actually the word "spoken," as the perfect tense of "speak": speak/spoke/spoken/speaking
...not only evil and crime let led to confusion and chaos...
Ironically, your seemingly totally irrelevant (to self introduction) topic of Shakespearean tragedy, is indeed the most relevant and in-depth self-introduction (in a round-about manner, admittedly). The only tragedy here, is that--dashes (and numerous other essential punctuation marks and even accented letters) are still being filtered by LiveMocha, resulting in unsightly raw HTML codes, as in your case. I, on the other hand, have since learnt to resort to the inaccurate and ugly approximation with hyphens, etc.
ERRATA:
Disregard my first item in the original review comment. When I read it last night, I mistook "Even though to what extent still is an open question," as the continuation of your previous statement regarding relevance. When, in fact, it's the beginning of your first sentence in your main writing.
Of course... as such, "Even though" would indeed serve as the coordinating conjunction I suggested, and a very appropriate one, I must say.
Part of the problem here, is that--LiveMocha strips out line breaks in the main submission box, causing all your paragraphs there to jumble together as a single blob.
For future reference: You can use ::::::::: as a visual separator between your meta info/disclaimer section, and your main submission content. You may also enclose the meta part with [Square Brackets] but never Angle Brackets, as the entire content between those will also be stripped!
These are part of my tried and true Mocha-ing techniques.