Giving and Receiving
Instructions:
Describe a present you have received. What was it? Who did you get it from? Is there something you gave in return?
Diana's submission: |
Average Rating:
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On my birthday, I accepted my good friends' present what were beautiful flowers; My father sent me a new cell phone; My mother sent me a new dress; My teacher sent me an interesting book; My uncle sent me a new computer; My grandparents sent me a new electric bike held a big party for me.....Oh, I got many wonderful presents! When teir birthday are coming, I will do the same ( I will return some presents for them.) for everybody who loved me. I know people need love and be loved!
Submitted over a year ago
On my birthday, I accepted my good friend's present which were beautiful flowers; My father sent me a new cell phone; My mother sent me a new dress; My teacher sent me an interesting book; My uncle sent me a new computer; My grandparents sent me a new electric bike and held a big party for me.....Oh, I got many wonderful presents! When their birthday will come, I will do the same ( I will get some presents for them.) for everybody who loved me. I know people need love and be loved!
Good job!
very good!!
Excellent, even though you made a few mistakes.
nice
On my birthday, I {received # accepted} my good {friends' # friend's} present [which _was _a _bunch] _of beautiful flowers. My father sent me a new cell phone, my mother sent me a new dress, my teacher sent me an interesting book, my uncle sent me a new computer _and my grandparents sent me a new electric bike _and held a big party for me.....Oh, I {had = got} many wonderful presents! When _each of _their birthdays _is coming, I shall do the same (I shall give presents to them *in return.) for everybody who {loves # has shown their love for me. I know people need _to love and be loved!
(I need love = I need someone to love me # I need to {love [someone] = give my love [to someone])
*"in return" would suggests that the reason for your giving a present, is that you feel an obligation rather than a desire.
"accept" implies some possibility of reluctance or privilege.
(Happy Birthday! x)
Happy Birthday, Diana.
I rewrote your sentences but please note that they could have been written several different ways. You should review the rules for punctuation and grammar.
On my birthday, I had a big party. My friends and family gave me wonderful gifts. I received beautiful flowers from my good friend, a cell phone from my father, a new dress from my mother, an interesting book from my teacher, a new computer from my uncle, and a new electric bike from my grandparents. To show my love, I will celebrate with them when they all have their birthdays.
Take care,
Mark
On my birthday, I accepted my good friends' present what (which) were beautiful flowers; My father sent me a new cell phone; My mother sent me a new dress; My teacher sent me an interesting book; My uncle sent me a new computer; My grandparents sent me a new electric bike (and) held a big party for me.....Oh, I got many wonderful presents! When teir (their) birthday are coming, I will do the same ( I will return some presents for them.) for everybody who loved me. I know people need love and be loved!
Good. I would change "sent" to "gave". Sent implies delivery, where as "gave" just indicates you received something from them.