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English Writing Exercise (All Levels)

Course 201, Unit 7, Lesson 2

Describe your street

Instructions: Look outside of your window and describe the movement that is happening on your street. Which direction are the people and the cars moving? How would a guest reach your home from the street?

Niara's submission: Average Rating:
Hi there!
My favorite restaurant is called Peixinhos (Little Fishes), actually it's a bar-restaurant that works day and night (not 24 hours) and it's always full, no vacancy. The people have to wait some minutes to eat there.. hehehe
This restaurant is next to my home, on a near neighborhood. Well, next if I go by car, but I can't go walking on the streets for hours... I'm a biking fan, not a walking one.
I just went there once, but I love it. It's not pretty expensive, the attendants (employees) are great and I love fish! Actually, I don't know the reason I didn't back there. Well, I need to!
Crossing the street there is a nice little square with some trees. But the street is a little bit desert; not the traffic, because everytime there are cars passing through the street (or is it an avenue? I don't remmeber), but there isn't more trades or shops, just houses and an abandoned, helpless, unused field. Poor field...
Thanks! :)
Submitted over a year ago

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Reviews

  • rich
    Mochapoints: 3572  |  Teacher Score: 532 (0%)

    Hi Niara,

    I like your new pic!  :)

    You have a nice friendly writing style.  However, here are a few suggestions to make this exercise read better:

    Hi there! My favorite restaurant is called Peixinhos (Little Fishes). Actually it's a bar-restaurant that works day and night (not 24 hours) and it's always full, no vacancy. The people have to wait for some time to eat there.. hehehe This restaurant is next to my home, in a nearby neighborhood. Well, next door if I go by car, but I can't go walking on the streets for hours... I'm a biking fan, not a walking one. I just went there once, but I love it. It's not very expensive, the attendants (employees) are great and I love fish! Actually, I don't know the reason I didn't go back there. Well, I need to! Crossing the street there is a nice little square with some trees. But the street is a little bit deserted; not the traffic, because everytime there are cars passing through the street (or is it an avenue? I don't rememeber), but there isn't more trades or shops, just houses and an abandoned, helpless, unused field. Poor field... Thanks! :)

    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Graham
    Mochapoints: 564247  |  Teacher Score: 531328 (100%)

    Hi there! My favorite restaurant is called Peixinhos (Little Fishes). Actually it's a bar-restaurant that works day and night (not 24 hours) and it's always full, no vacancy.(This is not necessary and it is used for hotels) The people have to wait some minutes to eat there.. hehehe This restaurant is next to near my home, in a nearby neighborhood. Well, next near if I go by car, but I can't go walking on the streets for hours... I'm a biking fan, not rather than a walking one fan. I just went there once, but I love it. It's not pretty particularly expensive, the attendants (employees) waiters and waitresses are great and I love fish! Actually, I don't know the reason why I didn't have not gone back there. Well, I need to! Crossing Across the street there is a nice little square with some trees. But the street is a little bit deserted; not the traffic, because everytime there are cars passing through the street with very little through traffic (or is it an avenue? I don't remember). but There isn't more are no other trades businesses or shops there, just houses and an abandoned, helpless, unused field. Poor field... Thanks! :

    "helpless" is generally used to describe people.

    A good exercise.

    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Niara
    Mochapoints: 26313  |  Teacher Score: 12391 (100%)

    Rich and Graham, thanks so much for the corrections, friend! :)

    I wish you an amazing week!

    Greetings!

     

    Submitted over a year ago
  • wlc
    Mochapoints: 22228  |  Teacher Score: 17814 (99%)

    Rich and Graham have given you very good and generous help.

    Submitted over a year ago
  • Niara
    Mochapoints: 26313  |  Teacher Score: 12391 (100%)

    Thanks for reviewing, Wlc! :)

    Good week!!!

    Submitted over a year ago
  • **Ajou**
    Mochapoints: 198111  |  Teacher Score: 169887 (74%)

    Good work! Agree with rich!!

    Submitted over a year ago
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  • Niara
    Mochapoints: 26313  |  Teacher Score: 12391 (100%)

    Thanks, Ajou! :)

    Submitted over a year ago
  • Gilgy
    Mochapoints: 146860  |  Teacher Score: 141950 (99%)

    Hi there! My favorite restaurant is called Peixinhos (Little Fishes), actually it's a bar-restaurant that works [is open] day and night (not 24 hours) and it's always full, no vacancy. The people have to wait some [several] minutes to eat there.. hehehe This restaurant is next to my home, on [in] a [nearby] neighborhood. Well, next [near] if I go by car, but I can't go walking on the streets for hours... I'm a biking fan, not a walking one. I just went there [just] once, but I love it. It's not pretty [very] expensive ('pretty' in this sense only works for positives), the attendants (waiters/waitresses) (employees) (staff) are great and I love fish! Actually, I don't know the reason I didn't [haven't gone] back there. Well, I need to! Crossing [Across] the street there is a nice little square with some trees. But the street is a little bit desert[ed]; not the traffic, because everytime [I go there] there are cars passing through the street, but there isn't more trades or [aren't many businesses or] shops, just houses and an abandoned, helpless, unused field. Poor field... Thanks! :)

    Submitted over a year ago
  • Steve
    Mochapoints: 10620  |  Teacher Score: 9246 (95%)

    Hi Niara,I hope you are doing well ,about you writing exercise ,there are some changes that I would make to sound more like an English speaker. Introductions are very important. I would have said, Hello my name is Niara,please review my writing exercise.

       My favorite restaurant is peixinhos.Actually it is combination bar and restaurant that works from early morning until late each night.Because of the great food and customer service people that want to eat there sometimes have to wait long periods of time before a table becomes available.

       This restaurant is in a nearby neighborhood if traveling by car.Since I can not walk for hours,I sometimes ride my bicycle because I love to ride a bicycle.

       I have been there only once but I would recommend this restaurant  to all my friends. It is not very expensive and the staff gives excellent service and I love the food. I don't know why I haven't gone there but I must go soon.

       Across the street I saw the town square,which was beautifully decorated with trees and many flowers in full bloom. Since this was the only business on that street,there were very few people out walking but the streets were very crowed with traffic. One thing I did notice was an abandoned field.

    Submitted over a year ago
  • Niara
    Mochapoints: 26313  |  Teacher Score: 12391 (100%)

    Hello, Gilgy and Steve!

    Thanks for your help! It's important for me...

     

    Nice week!

    Submitted over a year ago
  • Blair
    Mochapoints: 53246  |  Teacher Score: 49718 (100%)

    Excellent english, as always.  I made a few minor corrections.  It is a very interesting paragraph.  It write like a native.

    The bar is "open" day and night.  "No vacancy" is usually used for rooms at a hotel.  People usually have to wait to eat there.  This resturant is next to my home in a nearby neighborhood.

    Well, next if I go by car, but I can't go walking on the streets for hours...  ?  Do you mean.... I go by car because I can't go walking on the streets after hours.

    It's not expensive.  ....why I didn't go back there.  Across the street, is a nice little square with some trees.

    But the street is a little bit deserted; not the traffic, because  there are always cars passing through the street (or is it an avenue? I don't remmeber).   But there aren't more businesses or shops, just houses and an abandoned, helpless, unused field. Poor field... Thanks! :)

     

    Submitted over a year ago
  • Niara
    Mochapoints: 26313  |  Teacher Score: 12391 (100%)

    Hey, my dear Blair!!! :)

    Thank you!

    And about you, man?! When you'll write other text, hun???

    I'm an evil teacher! hehe

     

    Submitted over a year ago
  • IBRAHIM
    Mochapoints: 37764  |  Teacher Score: 18626 (98%)

    Very good

    Submitted over a year ago
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