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German Writing Exercise

What are people doing?

Using the vocabulary from this lesson, describe the activities that six people are doing: a woman, a man, a girl, a boy, you and I. EX. The postman often pushes a cart in the morning.

Author:
fran
The man went to prison because he had robbed the bank.Jill and her friend went to the hospital because the dogs had attacked them.
Bill got his degree after he had worked hard.Now he sleeps at home but he used to sleep in the car when he comes home late .We work in the farm now , but we used to work in the factory.Now he stays in the hotels but he used camped in the forest.I didn't use to fly but now I do .The mailman used to push a cart but now he drives and takes mails from door to door.
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Submitted: 2009-04-07 05:26:40




Reviews

  • 2008-12-31 00:26:21
    arcticmonkey
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    Eines Tages war ich am Bahnhof. Eine Frau hatte viel Gepäck bei sich. Ein Gepäckträger schob einen Wagen. Er half ihr und trug ihr Gepäck in das Zugabteil. Die Bäuerin geht zum Brunnen, weil das Wasser kalt und rein ist. Sie zieht den Eimer herauf und geht zurück nach Hause. Die Hunde ziehen den Schlitten, der Schnee ist weich und weiß. Sie laufen zufrieden.

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  • 2009-04-07 02:10:06
    Andrea
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    Very good, Fran.  I have suggested a few improvements. 

     I changed "got" to "earned".  Though the word "got" is used often, and maybe more than it should,  I think it sounds better to find another word to use in its place.

    I changed "comes" to "came" because you said "he used to...", past tense, so you need to continue in the past tense.  The past tense for "come" is "came".

    I changed "...takes the mail from door to door."  to "...delivers the mail to each house."  Though I understand what you mean by "door to door", that expression is usually used when you take or deliver something from one house to another house.  The mailman really delivers the mail from the post office to each home.  There is an old expression "the door to door salesman" referring to a saleman who went from home to home to sell something. So "door to door" will be understoon, but "to each home" is more exact in this context.

     

    The man went to prison because he had robbed the bank.  Jill and her friend went to the hospital because the dogs had attacked them. (or "...because they were attaced by dogs.")  Bill got earned his degree after he had worked hard.  Now he sleeps at home but he used to sleep in the car when he comes came home late.  We work in on the farm now , but we used to work in the factory.  Now he stays in the hotels but he used to camped in the forest.  I didn't used to fly but now I do.  The mailman used to push a cart but now he drives and takes delivers the mails from door to door to each house.  

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  • 2009-04-07 05:26:40
    iclaudius
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    The man went to prison because he had robbed the bank.Jill and her friend went to the hospital because the dogs had attacked them. Bill got his degree after he had worked hard.Now he sleeps at home but he used to sleep in the car when he comes came home late .We work in the farm now , but we used to work in the factory.Now he stays in the hotels but he used to camped camp out in the forest.I didn't use to fly but now I do .The mailman used to push a cart but now he drives and takes delivers mails mail from door to door.

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