Your last vacation
Instructions:
Describe your last vacation. Where did you most recently visit on holiday? What activities and attractions can you recommend to other travelers?
English Writing Exercise (All Levels)
Course 202, Unit 9, Lesson 5
 Cristina Parede...'s submission: | Average Rating: |
On last January I went to south Brazil in the city of Porto Alegre to visit some relatives. In the time, I enjoyed all days with those relatives, because it was a long time I hadn't seen them.
I went with my cousins on a tour in the city. We visited old buildings and museums, we also went to Redenção Park where a handicraft fair takes place every Saturday...I bought many souvenirs there. Later in the afternoon we went to Gasômetro - a cultural center on the border of Guaíba river. There, after visit the center we took a boat tour that gave us a wonderfull view of the city.
I went with my cousins on a tour in the city. We visited old buildings and museums, we also went to Redenção Park where a handicraft fair takes place every Saturday...I bought many souvenirs there. Later in the afternoon we went to Gasômetro - a cultural center on the border of Guaíba river. There, after visit the center we took a boat tour that gave us a wonderfull view of the city.
Submitted over a year ago
Please Login to Review this SubmissionLogin |
Reviews
Tips for Good Reviews:
Be Specific
- Give useful suggestions and examples.
- Write more than just brief comments like “Good job” or “Needs work".
Make Corrections
- Use the editing features to apply strikethrough, bold or different font colors.
- Use the virtual keyboard to insert special characters in your reviews.
Teach by Example
- Review a speaking exercise by recording your own audio comment.
- Focus on correct pronunciation and speaking patterns.
Please listen to my audio.
Get Flash string(11) "transparent"
On Last January I went to south Brazil in and the city of Porto Alegre to visit some relatives. In the time, I enjoyed all the days of my vacation with those relatives, because it was had been a long time since I hadn't seen them. I went with my cousins on a tour in the city. We visited old buildings and museums, we also went to Redenção Park, where a handicraft fair takes place every Saturday...I bought many souvenirs there. Later in the afternoon we went to Gasômetro - a cultural center on the border of Guaíba river. There, after visit to the center we took a boat tour that gave us a wonderfull view of the city.
Well done. I changed a few words and added some prepositions.
Sounds like you had a great vacation!
On Last January I went to south Brazil in and the city of Porto Alegre to visit some relatives. In the time, I enjoyed all the days of my vacation with those relatives, because it was had been a long time since I hadn't seen them. I went with my cousins on a tour in the city. We visited old buildings and museums, we also went to Redenção Park, where a handicraft fair takes place every Saturday...I bought many souvenirs there. Later in the afternoon we went to Gasômetro - a cultural center on the border of Guaíba river. There, after visit to the center we took a boat tour that gave us a wonderfull view of the city.
Well done. I changed a few words and added some prepositions.
Sounds like you had a great vacation!
On Last January I went to south Brazil in and the city of Porto Alegre to visit some relatives. In the time, I enjoyed all the days of my vacation with those relatives, because it was had been a long time since I hadn't seen them. I went with my cousins on a tour in the city. We visited old buildings and museums, we also went to Redenção Park, where a handicraft fair takes place every Saturday...I bought many souvenirs there. Later in the afternoon we went to Gasômetro - a cultural center on the border of Guaíba river. There, after visit to the center we took a boat tour that gave us a wonderfull view of the city.
Well done. I changed a few words and added some prepositions.
Sounds like you had a great vacation!
Very good!
Hi Angela. On Last January I went to south Brazil in to the city of Porto Alegre to visit some relatives. In the time, I enjoyed all the days I have spend there with those relatives, because it was has been a long time since I hadn't have last seen them. I went with my cousins on a tour in the city. We visited old buildings and museums, we also went to Redenção Park where a handicraft fair takes place every Saturday. I bought many souvenirs there. Later in the afternoon we went to Gasômetro - a cultural center on the border of Guaíba river. There, after visiting the center, we took a boat tour that which gave us a wonderfull view of the city.
Good job.
On Last January I went to south Brazil in to the city of Porto Alegre to visit some relatives. In the time, I enjoyed all days the time with those my relatives, because it was a long time since I hadn't seen them. I went with my cousins on a tour in the city. We visited old buildings and museums. We also went to Redenção Park where a handicraft fair takes place every Saturday...I bought many souvenirs there. Later in the afternoon we went to Gasômetro - a cultural center on the border of the Guaíba river. There, After visiting the center, we took a boat tour that which gave us a wonderfull view of the city.
Only one 'l' at the end of 'wonderful'.
Also, we would say 'craft fair' not 'handicraft fair', but people would know what you meant if you said 'handicraft'.
The other comments given to you have some mistakes in them, so becareful when you are correcting your work.
Bye for now.
Jen x
Hi Angela: It's me, Jaime. I will review your writing:
On last January I went to south Brazil in the city of Porto Alegre to visit some relatives. In the time, I enjoyed all days with those relatives, because it was a long time I hadn't seen them. I went with my cousins on a tour in the city. We visited old buildings and museums, we also went to Redenção Park where a handicraft fair takes place every Saturday...I bought many souvenirs there. Later in the afternoon we went to Gasômetro - a cultural center on the border of Guaíba river. There, after visit the center_ we took a boat tour that gave us a wonderfull view of the city.
Revision and reading:
Your writing is good and interesting. Good work!
There are some parts you can improve. They have been marked for you to go over.
My revised version:
Last January I went to southern Brazil, to the city of Porto Alegre, to visit some relatives. I enjoyed all the time with my relatives because it was a long time since I had seen them last. I went with my cousins on a tour of the city. We visited old buildings and museums. We also went to Redenção Park where a handicraft fair takes place every Saturday. I bought many souvenirs there. Later in the afternoon, we went to Gasômetro which is a cultural center on the border of the Guaíba river. There, after visiting the center, we took a boat tour that gave us a wonderful view of the city.
Enjoy your weekend,
Jaime
Has this revision been of any help to you?
Get Flash string(11) "transparent"