A Shopping Trip
Instructions:
Write about the last time you went shopping. What were you shopping for? What did you buy? Who did you go with?
Japanese Writing Exercise (All Levels)
Course 102, Unit 6, Lesson 4
 Lucasz Waxmann's submission: | Average Rating: |
僕はかいものをいくがすきじゃありません。でも、ときどき僕の彼女といきます。彼女はいつもきものをさがします、そのあいだまちなければらにません。僕はめったにいきます、でも彼女はいちにちおきいきます。かのじょはぜんぶでジュエリーとこうすいとイヤリングとくちべにをかいました。
Submitted over a year ago
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Happy New Year, ルカス
Hope things are going well with you.
Your entry looks good. Here are some suggestions:
僕はかいものをいくがすきじゃありません。 -> 僕はかいものにいくのがすきじゃありません。 You could simply states "僕はかいものがすきじゃありません," which is "I don't like shopping."
でも、ときどき僕の彼女といきます。彼女はいつもきものをさがします、そのあいだまちなければらにません。 These sentences are great. As for this きもの, do you mean "clothes" or traditional Japanese robe? If it was just regular clothes, then you could say "洋服（ようふく）." For the last sentence, we would say "そのあいだ（僕は）またなければなりません。"
僕はめったにいきます、でも彼女はいちにちおきいきます。 Well, this "めったに" always comes with negative sentence. So the verb needs to be negative: 僕はめったにいきません。 In addition, いちにちおき needs a particle, "に," so it should be "彼女はいちにちおきにいきます。"
かのじょはぜんぶでジュエリーとこうすいとイヤリングとくちべにをかいました。 This is good. We would say アクセサリー for jewelry and I would omit "ぜんぶで," though.
Hope my review will help you! You have done a great job. Keep up your good work!
Nara