Review Member Submissions - Writing
Going on Vacation
Describe a vacation you are taking? When and where are you going? What are you going to do?
Author:
inci
inci
ı want going to go vacation in september. because Ramazan Bayramı start at 26 september and when Ramazan Bayramı start my country people do vacation for 9 days.ıf the weather isnt too cold . I will go to Antalya ot Mugla .I want to swim and take hundreds photo. realy . ı need a vacation . it will be good I am sure . business and annoyonce is far away from me
Submitted: 2008-08-27 10:03:02
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Other Members' Submissions
This is how I would write it:
"I want to go on vacation in September because Ramazan Bayramı starts on 26th September. When Ramazan begins, we go on vacation for nine days if the weather isn't too cold. I will go to Antalya or Mugla. I want to go swimming and take hundreds of photographs. Really, I need a holiday. I am sure I will enjoy it. Then I can forget about the stress of work."
Your message and meaning is clear. I agree with the comments above. Here are my comments.
All sentences should start with a capital letter. This does not matter with speaking of course but is important with writing.
Mostly you have just missed joining words to make the sentences smoothe.
"ı want going to go vacation in september."
All months and days of the week start with capital letters. This is more correct...
"I want going to go on vacation in September."
"because Ramazan Bayramı start at 26 september and when Ramazan Bayramı start my country people do vacation for 9 days.ıf the weather isnt too cold ."
This is really all one sentence. Like this...
" Ramazan Bayramı starts on 26 September and when Ramazan Bayramı starts my country people go on vacation for 9 days ıf the weather isnt too cold ."
"I want to swim and take hundreds photo."
You are taking more than one photo so this word should be plural. Like this...
"I want to swim and take hundreds of photos."
"business and annoyonce is far away from me."
The word "is" has the meaning of the present or now. You are talking about the future, so this is more correct...
"Business and annoyance will be far away from me."
You have done well. These mistakes do not change your meaning.
JP
I want to go on vacation
or
I am going to go on vacation
am/is/are going = will; want; intend