Review Member Submissions - Writing
At the park.
Describe what you do at the park. Do you play sports? Do you read?
Author:
shyamak
shyamak
A stroll in a lush green park is really very soothing to eyes and the soul. I don't go to park for games but for reading and ofcourse not from paper book. I like to read the book that is called 'nature'. I feel very cool and calm in park. Fresh and fragrant breeze touches my spirit and my soul changes into a bird that starts flying in the blue sky. It is really very wonderful to sit and relax in the lap of mother Nature.
Submitted: 2008-04-01 07:32:34
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Other Members' Submissions
I think that you are very logical and creative person . you are improving day by day. and nice to meet
But I can try this :
- "Fresh and fragrant breeze touches my spirit" => A fresh and fragrant breeze
- I feel very cool and calm in THE park
- I don't go to THE park
Check with a native speaker. I'm not sure.
In the first sentence:
"is really very soothing to eyes and soul" or "to the eyes and the soul"
Most of the time, we need to add an article, like "the" or "a" before nouns, like "park."
This is very beautiful writing!
"A fresh and fragrant breeze touches" or "Fresh and fragrant breezes touch"
Very good.
take a look at corrections made by Mirifis and Jennifer.
Take care