Review Member Submissions - Writing
Describe Yourself
Describe your profile picture. What color hair do you have? Is your hair long or short? What color eyes do you have? Do you have any facial hair?
Author:
fruit
fruit
I was born in one afternoon of the late Autumn and when my Mum said it felt very comfortable to the puerperium care,which just belonged to Libra.
I heard that Libra has the natural ability of "balance",so the feeling of "balance" goes throughout the whole body:
A fine-looking face with black round eyes,the nose to be rather higher than Chinese which it isn't easy to guess where I am in China, that I can contact with kinds of people coming from all over China,because I can not only speak standard and fluent Putonghua and a couple of local dialects,but also change into them freely.
I have black hair which is often cut in summer and getting longer and longer in winter.
I think I also have the natural ability of sport that I have the "balance" body as well and always keep my weight in standard except my gestation period :)
Perhaps born in Autumn,I am blessed with both the passion of the summer and calm of the winter that make me full of emotion that is a good thing for an artist :) What do you think
Submitted: 2008-07-29 17:13:32
I do not understand what you mean by puerperium care that belonged to Libra.
Shuguo, I would have written your text as follows:
I was born one automn afternoon. My mom said I got good care in the hospital. I am a Libra with Libra's innate sense of balance.
I am told I have a fine-looking face with round eye and a rather high nose which makes it difficult to tell which part of China I come from.
As I speak putonghua as well as a couple of local dialects, I can communicate with people from all over China switching dialects freely.
I have black hair which I cut in summer and let grow longer in winter. I have a natural ability in sports and I always keep my weight in control (except during my pregnancy).
Perhaps because I was born in automn, I am blessed with both the passion of the summer and calm of the winter that makes me full of emotion which is good thing for an artists, don't you think?
I meant that I was born in late Autumn and when it was cool so my Mum felt very comfortable after birth, but I am not sure how to express properly. I want to say that time belong to Libra as well, but I think there was a problem of connection so make you puzzled :)
About the words "the puerperium care"(坐月子), I looked up in Yodao e-dictionary, maybe it would be more used in Chinese expression but I am not sure :(
Firstly, I agree with Awen that “puerperium” is not a good word to use. Not only because most people would not know the meaning, but also because it refers to the very intimate details of the physical changes the birth mother goes through after birth. In our culture it would be unusual to discuss this process or to refer to it with anyone other than very close family or personal friends.
However, we have a term called the “neonatal period”, which refers to the (usually) one month period after a child is born.
Like Awen, I too am uncertain by what you meant when you wrote “the puerperium care, which just belonged to Libra” ?
Your last paragraph and question :) I would like to disagree with you here and refer back to your star sign. In astrology, a Libran, along with an Aquarius and Gemini, is an Air Sign. An Air Sign desires freedom of expression, thought and movement. What do you think now? Not only do you have a natural ability for sport but you are emotional and express yourself though art and thought. I am a Gemini :)
I was born one afternoon in late Autumn. My mother said it was a very nice part of the year which fell in the sign of Libra.
I have heard that those born in the sign of Libra have the natural ability of “balance”, so the impression of “balance” goes throughout the whole body.
I’ve been told I have a nice looking face with dark round eyes, and my nose is a little higher than most Chinese which makes it hard to guess which part of China I come from. Also, because I am fluent in Putonghua and a couple of other local dialects, and can interchange between them easily, I am able to communicate with many people from different provinces.
I have black hair which is often cut in the summer, but gets longer and longer in the winter.
Also relating to the Libra’s sense of “balance” I think, is my natural ability at sports, and I have always kept to my standard weight, except when I was pregnant of course :)
Perhaps being born in Autumn, I have been blessed with both the passion of summer and the calm of winter that makes me full of emotions which is a good thing for an artist :) What do you think?
Firstly, thank you for your telling me that in your culture, it would be unusual to discuss this intimate details of the physical changes the birth mother goes through after birth or to refer to it with anyone other than...
If necessary, I had better write like this:
I was born one afternoon in late Autumn, when my mum said it was very comfortable to the neonatal period and it was also a very nice part of the year which fell in the sign of Libra. could I? But it sounds...not so good :(
I'm not entirely convinced about astrology, but I would like to agree with something about it:
An Air Sign desires freedom of expression, thought and movement. And I am glad to hear that you are a Gemini who along with a Libra...so you also have...like me :))
Cheers！！！
1) In my first sentence, I said "I was born in one afternoon of the late Autumn...", Awen "...born one afternoon autumn..."(he took off the word "in") and you "...born one afternoon in late Autumn..."(also took off the word " in"). I want to know if it isn't necessary the use of the word "in" here.
2) About describing the profile, ...hmmm...I suddenly find a sentence " I have regular features." I don't want to say "fine-looking" or "nice-looking", I want to say simply the five sence organs put on the face rightly. I think this is suitable for a Chinese who describes herself implicitly :)
4) "...black eyes..." and "...dark eyes...", they are both okey here or have a little...different...
5) "a bit" and "a little", what difference are they?
6) 'can' and 'be able to', I always confound with them.
The bakery is ON THE OPPOSITE CORNER from the bank.
The bakery is ON THE CORNER OPPOSITE from the bank.
They express the same information or the "close" information that means they have a little difference :)
I am told and I have been told are identical.
Black eyes, dark eyes have only an emotive difference. Dark eyes show or more emotional state and not just colour. (Her dark eyes had my heart go thump thump)
be able to is more like 我能， can is more like 我愿意， 我可以。
Re-working your first sentence:
I was born one afternoon in late Autumn under the sign of Libra. My mother said that it was a very nice part of the year and that the transitional neonatal period was very comfortable.
1) “born one afternoon in late Autumn” - Firstly, it is not necessary to use a preposition in the sentence, hence why both Awen and I dropped it. Secondly, if you were to use a preposition here we would use “on” not “in”, however, an adjective would be required. eg. I was born on a sunny afternoon in late Autumn.
2) four sense organs associated with the face and head. 1 of the senses is in your hands. :))
So, to use your new sentence “I have regular features”
I have the regular features of a Chinese woman – I have dark round eyes and my nose is a little higher than most Chinese which makes it hard to guess which part of China I come from.
3) “I am told” – present tense, “I have been told” – past tense
4) “black eyes” and “dark eyes” – as Awen has already stated the difference is an emotive one.
In English “black eyes” can refer to:
black eyes: an eye with a very dark iris
a black eye : A bruised discoloration of the flesh surrounding the eye, often resulting from a blow
black eyes: the discoloration of flesh surrounding the eyes from lack of sleep or resulting from a Vitamin B deficiency
in literature “black eyes” can also refer to someone without a soul eg. His cold black eyes; his soulless black eyes…..
5) “a bit” and “a little” mean the same thing
6) “can” means “to be able to” :)
Here is another dictionary site that might also interest you:
http://au.encarta.msn.com/encnet/features/dictionary/DictionaryResults.aspx?refid=1861692320&vv=600
The bakery is ON THE OPPOSITE CORNER from the bank.
The bakery is ON THE CORNER OPPOSITE from the bank.
Both are correct, and both give the same information. I think that we have had this discussion before about the flexibility of the English language, and this is just another example :))
There are very different between English and Chinese when I just started to "touch" it I think. I remember at the first English lesson in primary school, the English teacher said...sometimes the use of English sentenses need to be inverted...opposite to Chinese. For example: "What is it?" if translating into Chinese is "它是什么？" writing in English directly is "it is what?" It's so weird :) And ... I have always had a habit of writing down something about...thoughts and inspirations in life...casually :)
The bakery is ON THE CORNER OPPOSITE from the bank.
Both are correct, I see.
Awen's "Bakery bank opposite corner" should be more used in oral or informal state and though you even said "Bakery bank opposite corner", and "BAKERY is on the OPPOSITE CORNER from the BANK" in your mind I think :) As if the use of accents show...your principal active words :)
Dark eyes, show more emotional state and not just color; and black eyes, it sounds...more
'bad' informations.
Do you remember the sentence about describing my teacher's feature: "He has...black thoughtful eyes...", is it all right here?
When describing your teacher's features: "He has...black thoughtful eyes...", this is a great way to use and describe "black eyes".... by using the adjective "thoughtful" you have given the reader a very good picture.
I said five senses organs...in Chinese is五官 refers to eyes,ears,mouth,nose and eyebrows(this isn't sure a organ of face I think), but we often describe someone五官端正about meaning "...has the regular features", but I haven't been sure it is all right in English since now :( Could you tell me something about...when describing somebody in English, you would like to...how describe......
I have the regular features of a Chinese woman...
If dropping "of a Chinese woman", is it...right?
When I corrected some submissions in Chinese, often met something like this:
For example, "My mother and I...", many non-native Chinese speaker often like to write "我的妈妈和我“，if I dropped the word"我的”(here means my), many non-native chinese speaker seemed...incomprehensible...but we only say, "我和妈妈“(in English "I and mother") is okay...I think...this is a problem about "habit", right? So here, I want to know if dropping "of a chinese woman", just "I have the regular features." would you accept it or feel strange?
Sorry to correct you but there is a big difference between black eyes and a black eye. Black eyes refers to the colour of the eyes. Black eye refers to the eye that has been punched and turned black. You say: She came to the office with a black eye meaning somebody punched her in the eye and it was swollen and black. One does not say she came to the office with black eyes.
And :) if describing a man, I need to add "...of a Chinese man" after the sentence ?
I thank you for the correction. However, I would like to dispute what you are saying :) If someone has a broken nose both of their eyes are blackened. If you were to see someone like this you would comment on their "black eyes". Also, I looked up a number of resources on what "black eyes" means, both in a physical and literary sense. All resources gave the "black eye" response as one of their definitions.
On a second point, I would like to say that I agree with your advice to Fruit on the "typical" or "regular" features of a Chinese woman.
Fruit,
Awen's advice here is correct because if you were to just say "regular features" the question becomes: What is regular? From what are you drawing the comparison? And, of course, we already have the answer to that by writing: "I have the regular (typical) features of a Chinese woman..."
Thank you Lorraine and Awen, in your discussion I understand more about "black eyes", "a black eye", "two black eyes" and something about your usages of language. Do you know it is a good chance for me to learn the real English?
I hope this is just a nice discussion :)
Look！It is apparent that I have oriental complexion and black short hair because it is summer here you know. That day was on July 26, 2008 and when we were going outing at a park. It was very very hot and had a strong sunlight so I must under the unbrella :)) And because being so hot I was wearing a silk scarf on my head so that there was a "chink" between my neck and hair...that...I would feel...cooler :))
You should realize that I have a good dictionary, Awen :) And I often use it to check my...writing to make them more...understandable, but it is not very easy for me every time :( But I still do my best！
What do ou think?
"I was born one afternoon in late Autumn. My mother said it was a very nice part of the year which fell in the sign of Libra."
That sounds...my mum...was very nice :)
Also, I want to return the previous problem about "show and appear".
"show"- it strikes me that is from..."inside" of something;
"appear"-as if...is added by outside...that means here, the sunlight makes the outer wall appear sky-grey :)
So you correct the sentence "Its outer wall are plastered by granolithic for the damp and shows sky-grey in the sun." to "Its outer wall are plastered by granolithic from the damp and appear sky-grey in the sun."
You are correct I think :) Appear in this case relates to the word appearance with one of the definitions being: the look or outward aspect of a person or thing.
This has put me in mind of a quote from Muhatma Gandhi and as a fellow artist I want to share with you:
To a true artist only that face is beautiful which, quite apart from its exterior, shines with the truth within the soul.
::: Mahatma Gandhi :::
"There is everything beautiful in the world but to be found." Willing to find, braving in the attempt and...making the world...appear...full of colors :) That is our "job".
.culture spirit . In such place there is no any reason to ban anyone from using words that are common in his community. There is place to correct the speling ,grammer and style.