Review Member Submissions - Writing

Going Shopping

Describe the last time you went shopping. What did you buy? How much did it cost?

Author:

Danila
Last time I went shopping was last week, on a Saturday afternoon. I was looking for a Christmas present for my husband and also for a new skirt for me. I would like to wear something new on Christmas eve. The shopping center near my place was very crowded and it was difficult to choose something nice. The prices were much higher than I thought and at the end I decided to go back home without having bought anything. I'll try again next week (but on a working day and at a different time) hoping to be luckier!
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Submitted: 2007-12-15 12:21:41



Reviews

  • 2007-12-15 12:40:15
    Zarig
    The last time that I went shopping was last Saturday afternoon. I wanted to buy my husband a Christmas present and a new skirt for myself. I would like to wear something new on Christmas Eve. The shopping center near to my place was very crowded and it was difficult for me to make a choice. Also, the prices were much more that I had expected. In the end, I decided to return home without purchasing anything. I'll try again next week, on a working day and at a less busy time, hoping to be luckier.

    [In written English, short sentences are more effective in conveying the clarity of one's thoughts. Practice makes perfect!]
    Zarig.
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  • 2007-12-15 15:01:10
    Courtney
    Your writing is very good.  The comments from zarig above are helpful, too.
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  • 2007-12-20 06:57:10
    C Blackman
    I thought that was quite good. In English there is often many different ways to say the same thing. I expect other languages are like this too. The phrase "without having bought anything" is a little long, most people would say "without buying anything", it's a small change but a little more natural sounding. zarig's suggestion using "purchasing" is also correct.
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